tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81974207036662205142024-03-13T21:10:19.365-07:00Setters on PointLife, photography, quilting, house, just not much about the dogs.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-50334317594462330522013-08-02T08:00:00.000-07:002013-08-02T08:00:06.402-07:00Adoption Scammer Spam -- a new one!Yes, I realize it's been a year since I posted. Not much to report. But then this gem arrived in my email box the other day:<br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Greetings</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Saw your profile that you are looking to adopt. Have you adopted already? If not, then I am pleased to introduce to you our adoption agency / shelter home for kids: NSK GLOBAL MOTHERLESS SHELTER (</span></span></span><a href="http://www.nskglobalshelter.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">www.nskglobalshelter.com</span></span></span></a><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">).</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Do you feel like your agency is holding you back? Do you want something out of your adoption that your agency wouldn't allow or maybe you have been waiting for long? Then we can help you.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Adopting with us allows you to enjoy:</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Private Independent (Open / Closed) International Adoptions</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Low fees</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Faster adoption</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Easy placement as we are a shelter home too</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">The Pleasure of By-passing the adoption agency / attorney (You dont need them). We provide these services and this saves you huge fees from Adoption agencies and attorneys and time too.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Pleasure of not having to travel...baby is brought into your country after adoption</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Adoption in a non Hague convention country</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Our help with citizenship procedure</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">So if you want to make your adoption dreams a reality, please contact us</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px;"><span style="color: blue;">Dr Eric Kruger (PhD)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px;"><span style="color: blue;">Social worker & adoption specialist</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px;"><span style="color: blue;">NSK GLOBAL MOTHERLESS SHELTER</span></span></div>
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There are so many things wrong with this. First, what they are basically describing is child trafficking. Bypassing an agency or attorney, and those pesky Hague conventions (against child trafficking) is a huge, scary red flag. Oh, and that you don't have to travel to meet and adopt the child and they'll fly the child to you, like UPS or something? Trafficking. <br />
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If you go to their web site (which I don't recommend unless you want to feel really icky) you'll see photos of the people who work there. But wait, they just don't look right. So, if you do a reverse image search courtesy of Google Images, you'll find that person #3 is really a realtor in New Jersey with a totally different name. Poor Realtor Dude has been face-jacked! Right.<br />
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I had to share this a little more publicly because this kind if ickiness just needs to be shared.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-88797373987396231362012-07-12T12:00:00.000-07:002012-07-12T12:00:03.735-07:00Why are we here? Because we're waiting...In high school English class, with Mrs. Votto, we read a play called "Waiting for Godot". I will likely disappoint Mrs. Votto by saying that I remember very little about the play, beyond that there was very little going on, two guys were sitting on a bench I think, waiting for Godot. I remember a bit of dialog, "Why are we here?" "Because we're waiting." "Waiting for what?" "Godot." "Oh." As teenagers, this drove us nuts because the play was SO boring to us, because very little happened, they were just there, waiting. Now, I can look on Wikipedia and see what I was supposed to remember, and this sums it up:<br />
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<i style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Waiting for Godot</b></i><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> is an </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurdist_fiction" style="background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-decoration: none;" title="Absurdist fiction">absurdist</a><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> play by </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Beckett" style="background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-decoration: none;" title="Samuel Beckett">Samuel Beckett</a><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">, in which two characters, </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_(Waiting_for_Godot)" style="background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-decoration: none;" title="Vladimir (Waiting for Godot)">Vladimir</a><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> and</span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estragon" style="background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-decoration: none;" title="Estragon">Estragon</a><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">, wait endlessly and in vain for the arrival of someone named Godot.</span><br />
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Sometimes, in this adoption journey, I feel like we're waiting for Godot, we're waiting for something that may never happen. Rationally, I know that is not true, but we all know how often emotions cloud what makes sense. Jason and I keep reminding ourselves that it took us much longer than "typical" to find each other, we were both too busy going to graduate school, traveling, and living truly unique and fortunate lives. And then we met and great things happened. Somewhere out there is a woman (and her partner?) who we don't know yet but who will someday be a very special part of our lives forever. That kind of thing, I believe takes some doing, so whatever God/The Universe/the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or whoever has planned for us, well, it just takes some time to develop. As a wise woman once told me, our baby isn't ready yet. And when s/he is, her/his birth/first mother will find us and great things will happen. <br />
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How do I know this? Because of an plane ride and work.<br />
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A long, long time ago, in a time called The 90's, I took a trip to see a friend in New England. I'd never been there, I thought, why not? I had frequent flier miles to use, so why not. On a leg from Detroit to Boston, I sat next to a woman and her elementary aged daughter, and we started talking. She worked at Harvard Graduate School of Education. I was a teacher. We had much in common. She encouraged me to apply to HGSE, I thought that there is NO WAY in heck I'm getting into Harvard. I had bad grades in undergrad, but I did do very well with my teaching credential coursework, but I thought, there is no way. Well, I kept it in the back of my mind. I came home and thought, well, if I don't apply, I'll never know. If they say no, I'm out $60 for the application. If they say yes, well, heck, that's not going to happen, so why worry. They said yes. I went to Harvard. All because of a conversation on a plane. You never know where a life changing event is going to come from so be open and accepting, is what I learned.<br />
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After I was done with snow, I found a job on the west coast. In that job, I had/have a friend/colleague, who, taking pity on me having moved 3000 miles and essentially knowing no one, introduced me to many of her friends. One set of those friends said, hey, we have a son you should meet. I thought, well, why not, worst case, if he is a jerk, I can call his mother to come pick me up. Win/win. Fast forward, we'll be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary this week. <span style="background-color: white;">You never know when a life changing person is going to come into your life so be open and accepting.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">This week, we'll mark 2 and a half years of waiting, which for some is a very long time, but if you ask someone waiting to adopt from China for example, we're just getting started. So, it's all relative. The adoption wait isn't like a video game, you can't press a button to make it go faster. There is no magic solution, there is no short cut. It's kinda like Hawaiian time, it takes as long as it takes, as my mother and auntie will likely agree. And there is nothing wrong with that, it's actually a philosophy we could all learn from, to allow things to take time and not insist on immediate results. Because you never know when a life changing event or life changing person is going to enter your life, and great things will happen.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-45146360360023303002012-07-09T15:00:00.000-07:002012-07-09T15:00:03.849-07:00A trip to Santa Cruz!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGqIOwDyMO7vC5grIEX8WH7sRnnxBIetjVweTpTkhNwyut3gXVoNgeWsgUOfoqIfzRB5UACGnIu-z0MPB4ONbDd0rjYUsB6nyQGxFbdh7jSRrOv2Mxh4uJ2Hg9ZUQG8oZKUOJiwrMdPFc/s1600/IMG_4918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGqIOwDyMO7vC5grIEX8WH7sRnnxBIetjVweTpTkhNwyut3gXVoNgeWsgUOfoqIfzRB5UACGnIu-z0MPB4ONbDd0rjYUsB6nyQGxFbdh7jSRrOv2Mxh4uJ2Hg9ZUQG8oZKUOJiwrMdPFc/s320/IMG_4918.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUhHftOXl9u6AYOFH8yPqz4Hv5OvMfR304kNJbJNtKZie57egbkR3s6FoqdSFCbzFXdsCKXaK-0fM0BuPWhvYA3Gko-FU1fYbK58dhZ6Rme80gPUQ0Y7WK0qUIhU9z5uFuk0ZG-e0tHVs/s1600/IMG_4917.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUhHftOXl9u6AYOFH8yPqz4Hv5OvMfR304kNJbJNtKZie57egbkR3s6FoqdSFCbzFXdsCKXaK-0fM0BuPWhvYA3Gko-FU1fYbK58dhZ6Rme80gPUQ0Y7WK0qUIhU9z5uFuk0ZG-e0tHVs/s320/IMG_4917.JPG" width="320" /></a>Recently, we went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, which is a lovely beachfront amusement park and boardwalk. There is a cool old building, called The Casino, which now houses an arcade in what used to be called Neptune's Plunge, which was a huge swimming pool fed by the ocean. Upstairs, where there used to be an under the table casino (in the 1920's or so) are huge, gorgeous event spaces for weddings, meetings, etc. I love old buildings and this one didn't disappoint. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Walking down the beach to the pier, we met some of my favorite sea creatures. One of these days, I'm going to bring one home and keep him in my bathtub. I love sea lions!</span></div>
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We spent some time both at the beach, and also touring around the college that is there, UC Santa Cruz. It is a unique college campus, filled with lots of redwood trees, and they have the best mascot ever: the banan slug. I see now why this town has such a laid back feel, I look forward to going there again soon.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-32555186709260516162012-06-17T19:27:00.000-07:002012-06-17T19:33:34.480-07:00Adoption Q & A<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did a little poll on Facebook of all of the folks who liked our adoption page, and though there were few responses, they were all in the far end of the spectrum: we have no idea what adoption currently involves. So, that got me thinking. Why not do a Q&A about open adoption and adoption in general.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I should say that like pretty much anything, there are many, many opinions and beliefs about the myriad aspects of adoption. Depending on someone's level of involvement and their experiences (positive, neutral or negative) they will likely have feelings, and often very strong feelings on the topic. I respect people's feelings but I will likely not address all aspects, controversies or elements to everyone's satisfaction. If anything I say seems biased against a point of view, it is not intentional, I am just writing from the place I know. And that's why this is posted on a blog and not the New York Times. So, my bias might show, but I hope not too much.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those who are new to adoption, I'll share some basics to help decipher the whole process. </span></span><br />
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<b style="line-height: 14px;"><u><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is Open Adoption? Is this co-parenting?</span></u></b></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px;">First off: open adoption. What is it? Open adoption means the child's birthmother or both birth parents choose the adoptive parents for their child. Open adoption means our child will know his/her birth parents and hopefully have a relationship with them throughout his/her life. Sometimes this isn't possible, but it is our ideal. Open adoption is not co-parenting, it is a fully legal adoption, with all of the rights of a naturally born child. Our agency leads the field of open adoption, they have a great page with a heap of info: </span><a href="http://www.adoptionhelp.org/open-adoption" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 14px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://www.adoptionhelp.org/<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>open-adoption</a><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>What are the different kinds of adoption in the United States?</u></span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">In the US, for children born in the US, there is open, semi-open and closed adoption. Open adoption is described in the previous question. Semi-open adoption means a few different scenarios, but mostly it means that the birthmother picks the family for her child, and they might or might not meet before or at the birth, and contact happens through letters and photos to the agency and then the agency forwards it to the birthfamily. The birthmother can send letters to her child via the agency as well. A closed adoption means the birthmother never meets the adoptive family and does not want to have contact at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is also foster adoption, and that can be open, semi-open or closed, too. International adoption is mostly a closed adoption, but I know very little about these two types.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>How does the process of an open adoption work?</u></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the beefy part of the story, so get comfortable. Definitions to follow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) An adoptive family picks their agency/attorney/facilitator.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) The adoptive family goes through the process of having a home study done.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) The adoptive family creates a profile book/Dear Birthmother letter and web site.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) Once all of these are complete, the adoptive family "goes live" and is visible to the world, in the case of our agency, our letter is sent out in response to inquiries, our web site was visible, etc. For us, this happened in January 2010.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5) The wait. The adoptive family waits for a birthmother to pick us. There is no set time for the wait. It can be a few weeks to several years. Right now, we're in our third year of waiting, about 29 months now. We're about to be in the top 10% of wait times for our agency. Yippee. See my post here about the stages of coping with the wait.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6) An expectant woman considering adoption finds us somehow, either through the agency, our web site, through a friend, her doctor, who knows. And she decides she likes us. So, she does an incredibly gutsy thing and calls or emails us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7) We flip out with glee because it's so exciting to hear from this woman. We email or call back and forth and get to know each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8) She calls the agency and they ask her some basic questions and send her some paperwork, like proof of pregnancy and other forms for her doctor to complete.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9) She gets the paperwork filled out, sends it to the agency, they confirm everything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10) If everything is ok and all parties are in agreement, we have a meeting with the expectant mother, us and a counselor at our agency, either on the phone or in person. This is called a match meeting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11) We're matched which means that we aren't talking to other expectant mothers and she isn't talking to other families. It is not a legally binding relationship, anyone can back out at any time for any reason.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12) Fast forward to her due date. Let's pretend this imaginary baby shows up on his due date. And this is the part I know less about, so let's say she delivers, all is fine, and she is still committed to an adoption plan. Typically, no less than 48 hours post delivery can she sign relinquishment documents, which means she relinquishes her rights to custody of the child. In some states there is then a revocation period where she can change her mind, it's 7, 10 or 14 days I've heard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13) Assuming she signs relinquishments, the adoptive family would take custody of the child.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14) 7-14 days later, the adoptive family's attorney files the ICPC paperwork, which basically means they can take the child out of the state and head home. This isn't a set time as this is paperwork that needs to be filed with the county where the child was born. Also during this time, the adoptive family should be visiting the birthmother and spending time with her, as much as she feels comfortable. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15) During the time until finalization, we have to have several visits with a social worker from our agency so they can check up to make sure the child is being cared for.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15) 6 months or so after birth, the adoptive family's attorney files the finalization paperwork in their home county. The child is then legally adopted and has all of the rights of their natural born child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are those terms again?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">agency/attorney/facilitator: various kids of adoption professionals, all function slightly differently</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">homestudy: paperwork to show the state that we're financially and mentally ready to parent a child</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">relinquishments: legal paperwork where the birth mother legally gives up her right to parent the child. The child is then in the legal custody of the agency and in the care of the adoptive parents. </span></div>
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<h4>
<u style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Why did we choose adoption? Why Open Adoption? Have you looked into foster care? What about international adoption?</b></u></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Long story short, domestic infant open adoption is the way we have chosen to grow our family. The type of adoption people choose, as well as their agency/attorney/facilitator choice is very personal, unique and individual to the couple. We are very pleased with our choice of open adoption and with our agency, the </span><a href="http://www.adoptionhelp.org/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Independent Adoption Center.</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Foster and international adoption are not our choices, but they are wonderful options.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We chose open adoption because we feel it is the most ethical choice, it allows the birthmother to retain control and to be able to make the best choice for her baby. It is also the best for the child as it allows him (or her) to know where he comes from, to have connections where in a close adoption, he might have questions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll update this post as more questions come to mind.</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-71466261037986763242012-06-07T09:00:00.000-07:002012-06-07T09:00:01.846-07:00Are they kidding?We got this gem recently:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #0c343d;"><span style="font-family: Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">hello,im Rev.Sister Mark Julie from the saint mary seminary parish.we have an 8 month 1 week pregnant lady of 21 year old here in our parish ready to give her baby out for adoption.so please if your interested to have the lady deliver the baby to your home then you can contact us with this address XXXXXX@XXXXXX</span><span style="font-family: Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"> GOD BLESS YOU</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #e8dfd6; color: #2d312f; font-family: Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="color: #2d312f; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Well, that is some service, she delivers... then she delivers the baby to our home? This is another one of those that I was tempted to email with the contents of something from my spam folder. But that would require more time than I cared to spend. Interestingly, our site didn't have any hits from Cameroon, only Brazil. Spammers are a jet setting bunch, after all.</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-18664218152133471802012-06-05T21:36:00.001-07:002012-06-05T21:36:33.902-07:00A banner project!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOViuwDEcDnB2WEPSTy3AoHJaMr7F-_sVkhBPUx5-HK-gLqXtcoPMZ1QPlr9Xdx0AkxWUvCijbzrJ7ZO9sv6y7ZEFAiTbiiRdyNH5xJ91bWK0yAfpiJNvcz4ddbb-0kOuNvm6c-FmZ1gY/s1600/c4b90034a81c11e18cf91231380fd29b_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOViuwDEcDnB2WEPSTy3AoHJaMr7F-_sVkhBPUx5-HK-gLqXtcoPMZ1QPlr9Xdx0AkxWUvCijbzrJ7ZO9sv6y7ZEFAiTbiiRdyNH5xJ91bWK0yAfpiJNvcz4ddbb-0kOuNvm6c-FmZ1gY/s320/c4b90034a81c11e18cf91231380fd29b_7.jpg" width="320" /></a>Ages ago, I got a wonderful gift certificate at <a href="http://www.spoonflower.com/welcome" target="_blank">Spoonflower</a>. I took forever to decide and then I found this <a href="http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/371691" target="_blank">banner pattern</a>. She's expanded her line and has created some adorable fabric! Anyway, I made one banner a year or more ago, and I wanted to make another. So in November I bought another yard and I finally got around to making the banner. So it starts out as one big piece of fabric. Then I cut it into strips and <a href="http://instagr.am/p/LIzaQaqPv1/" target="_blank">iron it to heavy duty fusable web</a>. The backing fabric (blue and white stripe) is visible there near the top on top of the quilt.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3iKhitJmMkyWBMYi19FLntH3yosJkOkwHy-wvTbACIEjzS36dG2DsWEXobGj6XdGTIMvVjo85T5KL5zCfDvMgJ6SkxYMqy6PjSHB4dT0vWnOxNVbCOD8IyVymxZdI3N2CeWhd0thL_Do/s1600/1903edf6a82d11e18bb812313804a181_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3iKhitJmMkyWBMYi19FLntH3yosJkOkwHy-wvTbACIEjzS36dG2DsWEXobGj6XdGTIMvVjo85T5KL5zCfDvMgJ6SkxYMqy6PjSHB4dT0vWnOxNVbCOD8IyVymxZdI3N2CeWhd0thL_Do/s320/1903edf6a82d11e18bb812313804a181_7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then, I <a href="http://instagr.am/p/LJAyXYKPnC/" target="_blank">cut them all apart</a>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1ckjZDH359U0iyfYI6yBKFQDhRUxfIpcTdC1RK3qBII7jisE5RU0na2DbV_hs1To4eDqTdZ73RpjbXc7OBK9Nni3tgM9bCbbo6C9UgECW9sDX-SBOOiXbhE73GGPMIiMtiMyXY3QKoc/s1600/cafcef50a8fd11e1abb01231382049c1_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1ckjZDH359U0iyfYI6yBKFQDhRUxfIpcTdC1RK3qBII7jisE5RU0na2DbV_hs1To4eDqTdZ73RpjbXc7OBK9Nni3tgM9bCbbo6C9UgECW9sDX-SBOOiXbhE73GGPMIiMtiMyXY3QKoc/s320/cafcef50a8fd11e1abb01231382049c1_7.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
Then I <a href="http://instagr.am/p/LLrwBRqPlG/" target="_blank">trimmed</a> them. And now I am in the process of sewing ribbon along the top so to string them up. I'll post more progress pics as I make, well, progress.<br />
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Spoonflower has been a great source for fun projects to sew together. I'm a big fan of supporting folks who don't have fat contracts with fabric designers, and I often see some very creative designs. It's a great site and worth checking out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-68527381197800853042012-06-02T11:28:00.003-07:002012-06-02T11:28:49.248-07:00When I wasn't looking...While I was neglecting this blog, it seems Google went and updated the interface and took away some things and put some other things over there, over here, and elsewhere. Sigh. My apologies to people using the web rings, that got hidden. But now it should be visible again. I'll try to post on this more frequently, I have a sewing project in progress, plus some baking projects, and of course, the adoption journey continues. More soon!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-18997375635063497582011-11-21T18:42:00.000-08:002011-11-21T18:42:00.585-08:00Adopt my badyIt's time for more spam.<br />
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This one had the subject line, "Adopt my bady". What the heck is a bady I ask you?<br />
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<div><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody>
<tr><td style="font: inherit;" valign="top"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">thanks for your mail,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">i have read about you profile,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">i am very confident that you will take good care of my baby,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">i had a very bad experience in my life,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">it is not essay for me to give my baby out for adoption but i have no choice,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">please help me i real need to go back to school,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;"> my parents told me to go and meet the boy that gut me pregnant ,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;"> but unfortunately the boy refuse the pregnancy so i have no choice but to give birth to the baby now thing are not easy for me,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">i need to go back to school, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;"> i am living with in the street no body to help me ,to feed the baby is a problem so i know you will take good care of my baby, i will like to know you very well and if it is possible i meet you for the adoption processed because i need to know the type of family my baby will go, please help me,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">i real need to go back to school.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">thanks for your understanding i am waiting for you respond</span><br />
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And she attached two photos supposedly of her baby. I wonder if the parents of this little girl know that her photos have been stolen and are being used for this purpose. I want to see if there is a way to track down photos like this, a kind of reverse search for images, to see if I can tell where it came from. Anyway, here's some spam to go with your turkey!</td></tr>
</tbody></table></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-332988898517788582011-09-03T15:27:00.000-07:002011-09-03T15:27:36.072-07:00My store on Etsy!I've launched a store on Etsy, called Setters on Point! (Surprise, huh?) Quilters will get the whole setting on point idea (turning a block 45 degrees so it's on point) and then there is the fact that we have two setters who point. Get it? Well, I like it.<br />
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I took a class in the spring and early summer about having an Etsy shop. It costs very little (20 cents per listing for 4 months) so I have very little to lose. I have a ton of fabric already,, I have a sewing machine already, thread and supplies, so I don't have much in start-up costs. I'll sell quilts, plus woven fabric bowls and little fabric postcards. So far, it's fun, there is a social networking side to it as well, so I can connect with other crafters and learn from them. It's a great experience so far and I have a reason to make more stuff with fabric!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-69845434102810583462011-07-28T20:14:00.000-07:002011-07-28T20:14:00.265-07:00Hey sister, I've been to Sisters!<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">After many years of wanting to go, this summer we went to the Sisters Quilt Show in Sisters, Oregon. It was a hoot, a western style town with quilts hanging from every building! Many of the buildings had quilts relating to whatever was in the building. So, the vet had animal quilts hanging outside. The hardware store had quilts with tools, tractors, and Crown Royal whiskey bags on them. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My full flickr stream can be found <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mochamonsterpants/sets/72157627149644495/">here</a>. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4wgZSVQDM1gxx0mZaSVtRNYhRllqR2NW4vxyLczwP9kNwhfutn5bAg5E9Lni5kzYU0IF1k_Cvghe-9XY8T4CoMcqljTKSC8QtpFVl7E1_31pYrBeifU2Bx9_CKa7p-h_qniIc0Yu76As/s1600/IMG_4337.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4wgZSVQDM1gxx0mZaSVtRNYhRllqR2NW4vxyLczwP9kNwhfutn5bAg5E9Lni5kzYU0IF1k_Cvghe-9XY8T4CoMcqljTKSC8QtpFVl7E1_31pYrBeifU2Bx9_CKa7p-h_qniIc0Yu76As/s320/IMG_4337.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8a_k5gboa1VlekAuVfPmOwE3GLxCp8U1d2X4RaFO6WjUpiy0pPRRO_4CdSIeU77Nt87I6avBsSCvgD3IDyqlNxkln1LxSjgTC0XeOVE192R5JfqaA_cAzwO9bKzR5lNM41n8l9ejjUto/s1600/IMG_4338.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8a_k5gboa1VlekAuVfPmOwE3GLxCp8U1d2X4RaFO6WjUpiy0pPRRO_4CdSIeU77Nt87I6avBsSCvgD3IDyqlNxkln1LxSjgTC0XeOVE192R5JfqaA_cAzwO9bKzR5lNM41n8l9ejjUto/s320/IMG_4338.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI-HXJ6eplaiWvuwAwsitFLv-sMhHLjyaP0SBL3JC21pW5foFlbKcMw-3GjmeK9gsSRgJbB1i7Hmcd-PbMpt2jGj6l4JJX3mRzqgu7Meun67g3PzviCnMsGz_oxQ3mrHakHH3dp3ocWpQ/s1600/IMG_4340.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI-HXJ6eplaiWvuwAwsitFLv-sMhHLjyaP0SBL3JC21pW5foFlbKcMw-3GjmeK9gsSRgJbB1i7Hmcd-PbMpt2jGj6l4JJX3mRzqgu7Meun67g3PzviCnMsGz_oxQ3mrHakHH3dp3ocWpQ/s320/IMG_4340.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYmu1ooEvuAPPSeBkkyqJRH9bisb7tFw29q7AsSmskXACadtVo2nRVpQcA4ffWO_wCCtVQF2UKq54CgkMIw28hx_bW8mW4Gw5jOaXlSB1kFkRiyAbedZPKIjjOWNQW_P4fkprb2VEFrMo/s1600/IMG_4341.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYmu1ooEvuAPPSeBkkyqJRH9bisb7tFw29q7AsSmskXACadtVo2nRVpQcA4ffWO_wCCtVQF2UKq54CgkMIw28hx_bW8mW4Gw5jOaXlSB1kFkRiyAbedZPKIjjOWNQW_P4fkprb2VEFrMo/s320/IMG_4341.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcE3WhN47s3S0AbYc_eSIEGpNrtztpLMMlLF9CNLrm5NOAYBa_MUwQ-trDsxByLupZIrWtkP77eTZ1pC3Zoc_rkQ0qKqkXZ5P708hDl6Qw_6Prd6zwFLd-c1VKFYCq7A1qGH-5UwJ1ovw/s1600/IMG_4342.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcE3WhN47s3S0AbYc_eSIEGpNrtztpLMMlLF9CNLrm5NOAYBa_MUwQ-trDsxByLupZIrWtkP77eTZ1pC3Zoc_rkQ0qKqkXZ5P708hDl6Qw_6Prd6zwFLd-c1VKFYCq7A1qGH-5UwJ1ovw/s320/IMG_4342.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
The next few photos are made by the quilters of Gees Bend. Some of the ladies were there signing books.<br />
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And what a sweet face! Clearly this is someone's best friend.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHIw8eoPcPvtdJd5Lsl2-5zU_ouSdEqyKUIWFzwypdcMHWrwy8kCXXN5zBIe2WsmANQiPeZjHPLrjbcMl8g2rku58PCu6c_Sb5t7ACadbhvBVQ3sikZOmzIcKq6WOARYaixx0avNGtIg/s1600/IMG_4329.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHIw8eoPcPvtdJd5Lsl2-5zU_ouSdEqyKUIWFzwypdcMHWrwy8kCXXN5zBIe2WsmANQiPeZjHPLrjbcMl8g2rku58PCu6c_Sb5t7ACadbhvBVQ3sikZOmzIcKq6WOARYaixx0avNGtIg/s320/IMG_4329.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-72417109747334433882011-05-19T18:11:00.000-07:002011-05-19T18:11:00.730-07:00Trying to be perfectThere is a lot of talk in the adoption world about perfection. <a href="http://www.growninmyheart.com/breaking-the-birthmother-rules">This</a> blog post is a wonderful reflection by a birthmother about her want to be the perfect birthmother. Adoptive parents talk about wanting to be the perfect parents. All parents secretly want their children to be perfect.<br />
<br />
Well, in case you didn't know it already, that isn't ever going to happen. People are imperfect, period. No human being ever was nor ever will be perfect. It's an unrealistic goal. I think a better goal is to achieve goodness.<br />
<br />
I think both J and I realized early on that neither of us were perfect. I have bad eyes, always have, plus an extra little ka-flip in my heart beat (which does nothing other than to make doctors say, "Oh, that's nice.") So, there you go, not perfect since birth. Somehow, my parents still loved me (and still do) and could look past all of my short comings to nurture me into a loved, loving, happy adult. J has been healthy his whole life, but his twin brother hasn't, he saw D suffer a serious illness when they were just 5. Their parents split about that same time. A whole lot of imperfection happened right at the same time. And you know what? J learned a lot about other people, about health, about relationships and how important some things are, and how really not important a lot of stuff is that people think is Such A Big Deal. Through that all our parents and families loved us, supported us, nurtured us through our imperfections, we wouldn't be where we are today if they hadn't.<br />
<br />
One of the lessons both sets of parents taught us throughout our lives is to accept people for who they are and to not expect them to be something they're not. Sometimes this lesson is harder to remember. Human beings judge, period. But to strive towards goodness, one would have to push aside judgement and see the person for who they are, for what they bring at that particular moment in time. I don't mean good as average, I mean really, truly good. Doing good by others and by yourself. Doing right by others and by yourself. Trying to be the best person you can be but allowing yourself room for error I think is what we all should strive for and it is a set of values that we will teach our child. Likewise, we hope that our want to do good in the world can be shared with our child's birth mother because we know she is doing good in the world and in herself and her child by choosing adoption. And for that we will forever be grateful and she will forever be a part of our lives.<br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-91454260947720134912011-04-01T18:22:00.000-07:002011-04-01T18:22:00.380-07:00An alternative to spamI received this today:<br /><br />Dear Colleen and Jason,<br /> <br />I happened upon your web page while looking for something else online. So sorry, but I do not have a baby up for adoption or anything else that could help you in your search to complete your family. However, after looking at what you two have put online, I feel compelled to email this message to you. You two are such nice, kind, stable, accepting, understanding and loving parents-to-be that I feel, pray and hope that your wish will be granted. You will be wonderful parents to whichever lucky baby comes your way. I have never been in your shoes, but I must say that you would be my first choice if I was in need of a new home for a new born baby. Many years ago my sister (at a very young age) gave a baby boy up for adoption. You two are the kind of parents that we hope he went to. Best of luck to you and I hope your prayers are answered soon!!<br /> <br />Take care,<br />D____<br /><br />I wrote her back to say how much I appreciate her thoughtfulness for writing. I can't really express how nice this is that some random person from the midwest (obviously I'm removing all of her identifying info) would take the time to write and to express such kind and considerate feelings. Of course, I had to take the opportunity to ask her to keep us in mind and share our info with anyone whom she feels is appropriate. But most of all, I wanted her to know what a sunny email this was! People are awesome!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-29978108427122018292011-03-21T17:47:00.000-07:002011-03-21T17:47:00.794-07:00What do teachers make?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;">For years now, I've read/heard a poem called "What Teachers Make" and never knew who wrote it. Various people claimed it, which I've come to learn has been a serious case of plagiarism. Bad form! But now the interwebs is circulating a performance by Taylor Mali, the author of this poem, and<a href="http://front.moveon.org/the-most-aggressive-defense-of-teachers-youll-hear-this-year/?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d84d3f301fcb453%2C3"> to hear it performed</a>, and to hear Mr. Mali's passion, makes it that much richer, that much more alive. What do teachers make? They make a difference, how about you?</span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">What Teachers Make, or<br />
Objection Overruled, or<br />
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school<br />
<br />
By Taylor Mali<br />
<a href="http://www.taylormali.com/" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">www.taylormali.com</a></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn<br />
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"<br />
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about<br />
teachers:<br />
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I decide to bite my tongue instead of his<br />
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests<br />
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.<br />
"Be honest. What do you make?"</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">And I wish he hadn't done that<br />
(asked me to be honest)<br />
because, you see, I have a policy<br />
about honesty and ass-kicking:<br />
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">You want to know what I make?</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.<br />
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor<br />
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.<br />
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall<br />
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.<br />
No, you may not ask a question.<br />
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?<br />
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:<br />
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,<br />
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.<br />
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"<br />
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I make parents see their children for who they are<br />
and what they can be.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">You want to know what I make?</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">I make kids wonder,<br />
I make them question.<br />
I make them criticize.<br />
I make them apologize and mean it.<br />
I make them write, write, write.<br />
And then I make them read.<br />
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely<br />
beautiful<br />
over and over and over again until they will never misspell<br />
either one of those words again.<br />
I make them show all their work in math.<br />
And hide it on their final drafts in English.<br />
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)<br />
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you<br />
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).</div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11px; text-decoration: none;">Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:<br />
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-21432866846958911912011-03-13T11:39:00.000-07:002011-03-13T11:39:23.901-07:00The Stages of Waiting (for an adoption match)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I'm starting to think there are stages to waiting, just like the theory that there are stages to grieving, which one can bounce in between in random order over various lengths of time. In no particular order ...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(1) excitement (Oh boy, here we are, world! We're AWESOME! We're gonna get picked in about 5 seconds because we are the MOST AWESOME WAITING FAMILY EVER!!!!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(2) happiness-ish (It's gonna happen soon, I can feel it. Lets send out emails, cards, make a Facebook page. If it doesn't move, and maybe if it does, we'll put our info on it!) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(3) neutrality (it'll happen one day. ... eventually...tap, tap, tap. Let's check Google Analytics again.) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(4) Bordering on Sucking (Ok, this really isn't happening soon enough. What can I do to move this along? I know, let's update EVERYTHING!! Even our HAIR!!! Look, NEW HAIR!!!! That makes us BETTER PARENTS!!!! WE HAVE AWESOME HAIR NOW!!!!) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(5) Totally, fully sucking (Boy, this sucks. This will never happen. It's like infertility all over again. Nobody likes us, everybody hates us, I'm gonna eat some worms. Maybe I should call my Social Worker, maybe she has suggestions. But boy, does this SUCK!) And then we call/email our SW who hopefully brings us back to 1, 2 or worst case, 3.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">And based on the feedback I've received from the other waiting families, this pretty much sums up their feelings, too. And unless you've been through it, you really can't fully grasp all of the complexities around this, all of the other factors feeding into this, all of the emotions, the highs and the lows. It's no simple process, that is for sure.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-66424777883063759332011-03-03T18:45:00.000-08:002011-03-03T18:45:00.911-08:00Adoption scammers, who are they, why are they?As I've posted many email examples of scammers, there are also in-person, domestic (not from Cameroon) scammers. They are emotional scammers, who take your time and emotions for a ride, and there are the financial scammers, who are after money, and then there are folks that are a combination of both. Lately, I've heard from several friends in the adoption world that the emotional scammers seem to be out and about lately. (This has nothing to do with anything, it is just a coincidence.) The stories are surprisingly very similar, but I know they weren't talking to the same person, because they all cite different elements of the stories (boyfriend, family, home details, other kids, etc.) But they all share some distinct similarities. Because scammers tend to follow some basic patterns, the social workers, attorneys and facilitators (if they are reputable and ethical) can spot these cheats a mile away and advise their clients accordingly. But that requires that the clients listen, and when you have suffered through years of infertility, and then months or years of waiting for an adoption match and placement, you really want to believe *this could be the one*. And that is exactly what the scammers are counting on.<br />
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A parable to sum up the experiences I've seen lately....<br />
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A waiting adoptive mom and her husband were contacted pretty soon after they became visible online. The scammer told her that she was pregnant with twins (red flag) and pretty early in the conversations, the scammer told the prospective adoptive mother (P.A.M.) that she knew they were the ones to be the parents for her babies. (red flag) She refused to speak to the agency (red flag) and when she did, she wouldn't provide medical information (red flag), talked about money pretty early on and readily (red flag) and went on and on with long and winding stories (red flag.) The scammer woman told the agency that she wanted $200,000 "for her troubles" and felt she deserved to have all of her medical bills paid for by the adoptive parents, and refused to go on medicaid, even though she qualified, because she felt she "deserved the best." The hard part for me to read was that this PAM wanted to believe it was real so very much that she kept talking to this scammer woman for weeks after the agency strongly suggested she stop. The scammer just kept stringing them along, talking about what she was feeling, how the babies were kicking, holding the phone to her belly (supposedly) so the adoptive mom could talk to them. It was just a long, twisted example of mental illness. The lesson is that though we want to think we are experts in this field, because we're educated and are experts in our field of work or our field of avocation, we have to let go and understand that we really aren't the experts and can't necessarily see the situation without emotion clouding our judgement. It is best to trust the agency/attorney as they have our best interests in mind and don't want to see us taken for a ride any more than we do. Bottom line, trust the experts.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-59197626008344993382011-02-23T18:08:00.000-08:002011-02-23T18:08:00.467-08:00Spam, spam, spam: My Lovely Twin BabiesI couldn't make this stuff up... the devil on my shoulder wants to write this person back and string them along, "Oh sure, that sounds like a great idea, here's some money..." but I am not sure I could restrain myself long from saying "Are you kidding me?" Note that Cameroon is one of the hotbeds for adoption spam, kinda like Nigerian email scams. As soon as you see Cameroon, red flags go off everywhere. But if no one bites, they wouldn't keep sending out these pathetic emails. Here is our latest entry:<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0"><tbody><tr><td valign="top" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; "><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>Hello There, </b><br /><br /><b>It is really a great Honor for me to write you. First I will start by introducing my self to you. My name is Milley and I am 19 years old. I will start by telling you my sad story now.<br /></b><br />I have studied through my high School in the UK and finished. I decided to come over to <span><span>Cameroon</span></span> for site view and also to explore the Environment and the Culture of Cameroonians. I have stayed in Cameroon for close to 2 years now. During my first two Months stayed in Cameroon , I got into a relationship with a Mexican White Man who also came for sight View in Cameroon for Forestry Study. We were very close friends and so decided to have a close love relationship. After that, I was pregnant for him, I told him about my <span>pregnancy</span> for him and he refuses the responsibility of becoming a Father and asked me to commit an Abortion. I Prayed to God for Guardians, Protection and Understanding on how to carry on with my pregnancy. Then after, I met a Christian Parish, So I decided to seek for help from a <span>Roman Catholic Parish</span> where I attend service every Sundays and the Bishops Suggested that I give the Babies out for adoption since according to them that was the only option to get the Babies to people that love them very much and will raise them like their own. Considering everything I have been through including my age and my needs to continue studies. I know my babies need a family that will guide them through to become successful in life. The Bishop Advice, I go in search of a good Christian home and family for my Babies online, giving me the assurance that I will get someone that will take very good care of them and also give me the opportunity of meeting the babies again in future.. I know you will understand me, all I ask of you people are to give my babies the chance of living happily with people that loves them and will be capable of giving them the type of life a good and caring parent(s) will give to his /or her children. I am suggesting private legal adoption for the process because I desire the chances of getting to meet the babies again any time soon as I have the opportunity to do so. The Bishop and the Rev. Fathers promise if I happen to find someone willing to adopt them, the Parish will offer their full financial assistance in acquiring an attorney needed for the process, paying for the Babies flight etc that will be needed in the adoption process. Please I'm hopefully count on you people for full support and cooperation by helping me in adopting my <span>Twin Babies</span> (Mario and Marion). Although this might by a huge responsibility to you but be certain before responding to my mail, you most be able to hold on to that responsibility. Please, I am on my knees and asking for your help. So if very sure and very serious, get back to me so that I can get you in contact with the Christian Parish so that the Bishop and Rev. Father can provide you information on how Christian adoption is carried out over here. Thanks once more<br /><b><br /><br /> <span> </span> Wish You A Great Day<br /> <span> </span> <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And<br />Look Forward To Read From You<br /> Yours Sincere </b><b>Catherine</b></span></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>I find these fascinating on one level. Who falls for this? What kind of desperation must someone be feeling in order to think this might be true? Who writes this kind of thing to pray on waiting adoptive families? It's just a fascinating look into the human mind.</div></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-18534613168822856612011-02-12T12:28:00.000-08:002011-02-12T12:28:46.662-08:00What I've been working onI have actually been quilting. I haven't written much about it, but I've been working away. <br />
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Maybe a couple of years ago, I bought first a charm pack, then a fat quarter pack of all of the fabrics in a line of 1930's reproductions with all sorts of dogs and bones, plus supporting prints. (The name of the line escapes me and the selvages are long since cut off.) For the longest time, I wasn't sure what to do with them. Then I saw <a href="http://www.modabakeshop.com/2009/07/christmas-table-topper.html">this</a>. So I downloaded the pattern a zillion years ago, kept it, realized I wanted to pair the two. But not to make a table topper, instead a big quilt. So I've been cutting<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKm58Cndw9rtOxvzo6oo3lurjmfqiHC9iGuNA382ARAEagQTui8yla3SH45a1UVBobuKCmwKO6_gksOuZCEKULF77PPzb2j1SzOQr2EDlW-8j2at1uzHZkLsfKLXOJTHnnzYLTAoZcR0/s1600/IMG_3517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkKm58Cndw9rtOxvzo6oo3lurjmfqiHC9iGuNA382ARAEagQTui8yla3SH45a1UVBobuKCmwKO6_gksOuZCEKULF77PPzb2j1SzOQr2EDlW-8j2at1uzHZkLsfKLXOJTHnnzYLTAoZcR0/s320/IMG_3517.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And then doing some more cutting...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAdnF6Qt3V2XiBkLos0nsRDDYFs9fSZxum0C55BtLg-zDSteHrgdbZGiFxODkDoP1NBhqvMb7f74aLtPqtc1VcLuALo3ZRxeFXR0qzINrRT5P4mFMyiCwcWc8r5zpxh5cKr9KLwx4FSeg/s1600/IMG_3522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAdnF6Qt3V2XiBkLos0nsRDDYFs9fSZxum0C55BtLg-zDSteHrgdbZGiFxODkDoP1NBhqvMb7f74aLtPqtc1VcLuALo3ZRxeFXR0qzINrRT5P4mFMyiCwcWc8r5zpxh5cKr9KLwx4FSeg/s320/IMG_3522.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Luckily the dogs are supervising...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjja6D7rcISFunWRTILsRH4peGbFLhyMP1aV895NoLq-5ChfY0IlIhBdUIjVp3C53UdULyXU4mYuYNdTG2R7AZuGDN-OmpexoarW67GsorlW1_e1GhF2zO-4d4Hj0rZVq8OPukwNuUtA9c/s1600/IMG_3524.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjja6D7rcISFunWRTILsRH4peGbFLhyMP1aV895NoLq-5ChfY0IlIhBdUIjVp3C53UdULyXU4mYuYNdTG2R7AZuGDN-OmpexoarW67GsorlW1_e1GhF2zO-4d4Hj0rZVq8OPukwNuUtA9c/s320/IMG_3524.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>So you sew the squares into a 9-patch<br />
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It's important to have a supervisor present....<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then you cut the 9-patch in the down the middle, then across the middle and sew together into what I think is called a Split 9-patch</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghfGxCC753cGORmHWi2di0z-DvGtAVr0l75Os6k6cVIRKUJBUKX4uvHHnYlb-uydyg23jEILw45u9jgeM7e2nCGJcTvxykecMZDGCQy5uBgU2kfvvUoOMyICLcLaSlacIdl6x47D2jlyc/s1600/IMG_3514.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghfGxCC753cGORmHWi2di0z-DvGtAVr0l75Os6k6cVIRKUJBUKX4uvHHnYlb-uydyg23jEILw45u9jgeM7e2nCGJcTvxykecMZDGCQy5uBgU2kfvvUoOMyICLcLaSlacIdl6x47D2jlyc/s320/IMG_3514.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So far I think I have maybe 50 blocks done and maybe another 20 to go. They'll finish at about 12" I think (can you tell I'm not an exacting type of quilter, plus, I don't have my notebook in front of me.) I will set them in a white kona cotton so you can really see the fabrics. It's a kinda controlled scrappy, since they're all from the same fabric line I don't feel right calling it actually scrappy-scrappy. But it's a lot of fun and it's coming together well.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After taking a long time off for recovery, it feels good to be back in the saddle. Welcome back quilting mojo!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-37538238450759293302010-10-22T18:21:00.000-07:002010-10-22T18:21:00.825-07:00Naming of quiltsContinuing on following Lisa Boyer's model...<br />
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She talks about the silliness and apparent randomness of naming a quilt and suggests we use more non-descriptive names like with people. She thinks that people can make the most of their name if it is something benign like Joseph or Jennifer, but some names just foretell bad things, her example is Arnold. (I admit, I tend to agree as our beloved Governator isn't my favorite.) <br />
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She observes that quilt names often come about similar to names for art pieces, as so many quilts these days are just art and not really meant to be loved, slept under, or chewed on by babies or animals. Which made me think that there really are two classifications of quilts now, ones that are meant to be looked at and ones which are meant to be used. I admit, I make quilts to be used. The points are lopped off, the quilting is far from uniform or straight, but my standard is more of a practical one. I always worry if the quilt will hold up after repeated washings, not if it will appeal to some judge with some unknown rubric of evaluation.<br />
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And as far as I am concerned, if any quilt I make is named "binky" or "boo" then that is first prize and no ribbon would matter nearly as much as knowing my quilt provided comfort to some child, some adult or some animal.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-21533730678798403202010-10-19T19:10:00.000-07:002010-10-19T19:10:00.171-07:00Adoption -- siblingsOver at <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2010/10/open-adoption-roundtable-20.html">Production, not Reproduction,</a> we are occasionally given prompts to write about adoption and our ideas, experiences and reflections. These prompts often have application to people who have already adopted, and I think this is no exception, so I can really only write about the ideas that we have any clue about, there are just too many unknowns to hypothesize about. <br />
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We are not going to adopt again, if our child is a part of a multiple-birth, that's great, but we won't be adopting siblings. We agreed that we only want to parent the number of children we think we can provide for financially, emotionally and educationally, and that is one. I'm an only child and my father is an only child, and we turned out ok, plus J and I are not convinced that there is a magic number of 2 children for some family to be complete. For us, it is one child, so we will savor every developmental step, every new beginning because we will know it will be our one time to parent a whatever-aged-child. We have friends with many children and those kids are out of control because their parents are essentially not there. On the other extreme, our child will be our one child and we look forward to the opportunities that brings.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-45679059474749259992010-10-14T18:21:00.000-07:002010-10-14T18:21:00.697-07:00Color Theory or BustI'm again inspired by Lisa Boyer and her essay titled "Color Theory for Quilters." In that essay, her basic premise is "Who SAID that this goes with that and this doesn't go with the other?" Essentially she feels that there is no such thing as color theory. This makes me think, what is it about colors and our brains that we think two colors don't go together and two colors do? Why are pink and green ok but taupe and anything aren't? I admit, I think taupe should be banned, so I might not be an objective observer. But what in our visual cortex tells each of us that some color is appealing and pleasing and some color is like taupe is for me, just hideous? It is completely subjective, as evidenced by the popularity of taupe (which I consider visual sauerkraut) which I find fascinating.<br />
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Are there any colors that everyone loves? Hates? Why?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-49199258341310920482010-10-11T18:00:00.000-07:002010-10-11T18:00:02.681-07:00Afraid of FloralsI've been reading <a href="http://www.lisaboyer.com/lindex.htm">Lisa Boyer</a>'s books, <u><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1561483516?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance">That Dorky Homemade Look</a></u> and <u><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1362861645">Stash Envy</a></u><a href="http://./">.</a> They are both collections of her articles about quilting, so they aren't long, but they are funny and actually very thought provoking for me. Nothing deep, but definitely fun. I'm going to try to write in response to some of her essays, not to copy them but to add to the conversation. <br />
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In <u>That Dorky Homemade Look</u>, she writes about a fear of florals, then writes about her fear of Sunbonnet Sue. I can understand her fear of florals, there are some pretty bad ones out there and they never seem to play well with others. There are typically just too many colors going on for my taste, and they are so... floral! I'm not a floral type of person at all. And Sunbonnet Sue? I sure wouldn't want to sew one because there is so much applique involved. That leads me to my two fears...<br />
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Applique and curved seams.<br />
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I will never be able to sew clothes because if there are arms, there are curved seams. I just can't do it. The whole mashing and smooshing and pulling and cutting to make it match, it just doesn't make any sense. Yes, I've sewn them following the directions and yes it has worked AND laid flat, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed the experience. Curved seams are just not my spacial friends.<br />
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And applique? I know I am not alone in this one. So many quilters are anti-applique because there is just so much hand work, so much detail work involved. Machine applique is ok, but it is so involved. I admit, I like sorta fast results. Like, I want to sew a few seams and see a block start to emerge. Applique seems like you sew and sew and sew and sew and sew and sew and sew and look, you are about 2 inches from where you started and you used up half of your bobbin. (I can't even comprehend hand applique.) <br />
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This is why I am drawn to simple block patterns that show off pretty fabrics, because I love color. Color used appropriately. Jewel colors, pastels. But don't bring mauve or taupe near me. Those two shoulda died in 1992 and for some reason taupe has reared its very ugly head in the past year or so. I really want to sit down whoever decides what colors are the new black and just give them what for. Taupe is definitely the new black. But I like black, it has great uses especially in Amish quilts. But taupe? Are you kidding me? It's the color of things you don't want to eat, things that you don't want to smell, things that you don't want to see. OF course it's the perfect new color for quilting fabric! Just say nope to taupe!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-32845813586584895032010-10-01T19:35:00.000-07:002010-10-01T19:35:04.424-07:00Adoption spam from NYCThis is just amazing to me. The first email was a bit suspicious:<br />
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<div style="color: purple;">Hi,</div><div style="color: purple;">You should be doubting how I came to know you. I am just fed-up with all this suffering and my heart is broken but I have to do this because nothing seems to be moving for us. I want to let go this baby to your family where she will be spoiled with love. If you can shower a baby with love and spiritual upbringing, do contact me and feel free to ask questions if you are serious and God-fearing... We look forward to talking with you more privately atlizymegan@gmail.com or holler me at 1-646-6520724 ext 608 .</div><div style="color: purple;">Liz</div><br />
But wait, there's more.....<br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;">Hello Colleen,</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I am so delighted to read your email for I was getting to this not knowing that I could talk to someone like you. I got your posting showing your interest in adopting a baby and since I am an adoptive parent like you, I thought it wise to contact you on this issue so that we can discuss a few ideas together. Hope I didnot hurt you in anyway through my mail. I do understand all you have been going through recently and feel that you are right in every sense of your thoughts about adoption. Adoption is a path I have gone through with many heartbreaks too but I kept my spirit and my belief high despite the tears on my eyes. I have worked for the foster system and have done a lot of research. I know so many people are out to take advantage of both potential adoptive parents and birthmoms; that left me sad and a little jaded. I am proud to have finally adopted a babygirl, Grace into my family. She is a little angel in my life that I presently i can't live without. I first of all went through several agencies and finally got dubbed by one which i don't want to disclose here and they ate my husband's $20,000 without us having the child from Ukraine which they matched us with. I cried my tears dry and since I knew that if we don't have a child it is going to play so much on my husband since it was my fault if we could not make children, I went on searching till we finally had Grace in our arms. Everybody in my family is showering Grace with gifts and lots of love especially my husband.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">It is nice to know that you have been visioning adoption in your family. I also thought I could do it easily with same private adoption with a birthmother but after being dubbed by a BM who decided to choose a different family during the process of adoption, we dived into International adoption. It was never easy also here but we finally adopted Grace and that makes us forget about the difficulties we went through. If you were to adopt, will you prefer an open or closed adoption? It is always good to know that you have family and friends supporting you through out the adoption process for it makes the load lighter on you. Tell me more about your reasons for wanting to adopt? How far have you gone with your placement in your agency? Have you been matched already? Please kindly do respond to me so that we can talk more on this issue. May be I can help guide you to a friend who has been a blessing to my family since I knew him. I am looking for a family full of love like mine to adopt baby Myriam. I have been able to adopt a baby through these friends and will want you to benefit from their assistance too since presently, we don't have the financial means to take another child as my DH says. The good thing is that Pastor will be traveling to Ohio and will have to bring the baby to your family so that you can follow up your adoption procedures while the child is in your home. You can call me and we talk more on phone if you like. Waiting to read from you...</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Stay Blessed</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Lizy, Pit and Grace</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="color: purple;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">214 sullivan St.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">New york, NY 10012</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">1-646-652-0724 ext 608</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="color: purple;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">"If you have a chance to help make life better for others, and fail to do so, you are wasting your time on this earth." Roberto Clemente</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: black;"> First off, how dare she (he?) quote Roberto Clemente! Second, it's amazing to me to see what she is maybe proposing, child trafficking!! The insanity of these people is amazing. Needless to say, I didn't respond. These people are just fascinating to me, and really pathetic.</span> </span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-69666306062718655822010-09-18T18:00:00.000-07:002010-09-18T18:00:00.292-07:00Lost that quilting feeling...I have to admit, my quilting mojo comes and goes. I know this, I expect this and I am not too terribly bothered by it. I'm in one of those down periods. It's not that I'm not doing anything else, I am, I just don't feel too keen on sitting still and being outside. This often coincides with the weather, but this year it has coincided with my health. In April, I was diagnosed with a massive blood clot that ran the entire length of my right leg. (Remember, I'm 39 and not bed ridden!) That caused a whole cascade of events that led to major surgery and what has been a long recovery. I am happy to say that as of Wednesday, I've been given a clean bill of health. But because of the clot, and the lasting damage to my right leg, sitting for any great length of time is painful. So, sitting to quilt means I have to get up and move around every 10 minutes. I just haven't had the commitment to do it lately. So, I've started small, cutting fabric in front of the TV (as DH roots for his blasted Giants), and next I'll be pinning them into 9-patch blocks. Then, I'll just commit to sitting to sew a block, then two, then three, and so on. It's all about the little steps.<br />
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I feel it's my obligation to help women know about the risks of hormones, because that is what caused the blood clot. I'd been on birth control for a long period of time and one of the more common but less discussed side effects of ANY hormonal treatment, including infertility and hormone replacement therapy, are blood clots in the legs. These things are no joke, let me tell you. Please help educate other women about the very real risks to taking hormones. And if you think this can't happen to you, you are quite wrong. I'm on my feet all of the time, I work full time, I'm not obese, I have never smoked, and I got a clot. If you feel a terrible pain in your calf, like a charley horse that doesn't go away for days, then your entire leg swells up, get it checked immediately!<br />
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That said, I'm ok now. Thanks to amazing nurses and physicians, having health insurance, and most importantly, thanks to four anonymous blood donors who selflessly gave blood that I now carry with me. I guess the other lesson is that if you can, you should give blood. Come to think of it, now that I'm off the coumadin, I should be eligible to donate soon. Guess what I am marking on my calendar!<br />
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I hope to post quilt-y stuff soon, but for now, it's one foot in front of the other.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-49720768804031664792010-07-31T16:46:00.000-07:002010-07-31T16:47:14.123-07:00Spam AgainThis time, it's barely legible. It was tagged as spam by gmail, but I had to post it.<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#009900;">Hello,<br /><br /> I am very glad to contact you , And Also I say that May God<br />see you at the point of your Need.<br /><br /> My name is John Willem A Uk Citizen base in uk and And Also<br />Working Here . I am 25 year old single . And i work with the fabrice<br />Company. My Company has Branches all over the world.<br /><br /> Anyway I am very Delighted to contact you after i got your<br />email over my search and every details Inpressed me. I don't want you<br />to be Susprice when you get this mail Bcos i believe you don't know me<br />but we will get alone very soon and know ourself better. I contacted<br />you bcos i have a 2year old baby boy and a 4yeard old baby girl who<br />are the children to my late boy which i am puting them on Adoption .<br />my late Brother die last years with his lovely Wife on a Motor<br />accdient on thier way to Shopping. After The Incident . I have been<br />taken Care of this Children . I decided to put them on adoption bcos<br />of the natural of my job . bcos i am Alway on Transfer from branch to<br />branch of the company as the supervisor. presently I am in West Africa<br />nigeria as the company Recently send me on a Transfer for a<br />Consignment for 1month.<br /><br /> And when ever i am on Transfer i do keep the children with some<br />neighbour bcos its on not allow in my company policy to take those<br />children along with me when i am on a company Consignment on transfer.<br />presently my Neighbour who do help me to take care of them when ever i<br />am on Transfer has presently relocated. and i just don't know what to<br />do . So i decided to put them on adoption to a Good Foster parent ,<br />who can care for them and give them the motherly love they need . So<br />if you are really interested for adoption and you know you can car for<br />any of the children you are interested to adopt kindly contact me and<br />i shall give you more details and thier pictures. I shall look forward<br />to read from you .<br /><br />Thanks</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197420703666220514.post-33581986903753143372010-07-07T17:40:00.000-07:002010-07-07T17:40:00.743-07:00Open Adoption Round Table question for July<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">Are there any things that you don’t want the other members of your triad to know—or that you don’t want to know about them? I’ve heard first mothers talk about not sharing their birth stories with adoptive parents because those are for the adoptees and for themselves only. I’ve also heard of adoptees concealing their reunions from adoptive parents so as not to cause them pain. What don’t you want shared in your adoptive relationships?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;">Susie Book over at <a href="http://susiebook.wordpress.com/">Endure for a Night</a> came up with the prompt above. She's a birth/first mom and writes very honestly about her thoughts, experiences and feelings. As a part of Open Adoption Bloggers, I'm happy to chime in.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;">I want to know even a little bit about the baby's birth father (he's a plumber/his name is John/he lived nearby, etc.) if possible, but if the situation isn't one the birthmom is comfortable sharing, then I don't want to know the story. If it is something she finds embarrassing, upsetting or in any way negative, then I don't want to know the story, and thus won't have a secret I'm keeping from our child. If our child wants to discover his/her birth story, s/he can do so when s/he is old enough to understand the entirety of the situation. Likewise, we sure won't be sharing our child's birth story with anyone, because it's his/her business to share with his/her birth mother (if at all) and definitely not ours to share.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;">We won't share with our child the actual facts and specifics of why we adopted until s/he is old enough to understand the biology involved. I don't ever want our child to feel s/he was our second choice, not the best choice, not good enough, etc. But I know those feelings are normal sometimes for adoptive children to feel, but I don't ever want to intentionally add to that. I will tell our child from early on that before I met his/her father I knew that adoption was right for me, and that J and I were always in agreement that that was the best path for us. This is entirely true. The underlying "why" is the part that I'll save for when she/he is older. Like a three year old needs to know the words "uterine fibroids"? I don't think so.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 21px;">I don't want to know anything about our child's birth/first mom that she wouldn't want to tell us. I feel very strongly about respecting her privacy in her life, about her feelings and impressions, and if she wants to share things, that's great and I will support that, but I will also respect her boundaries. So I don't want to know anything more than she feels safe in telling us.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com